remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is the high leading the old right now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize