carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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