I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Can I color on your dick again?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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