i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm always down for nudity.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
