all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
