Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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