i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
