if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
