what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
