where am i from again
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
