i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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