i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
