i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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