I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
