this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
