mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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