Jerry, you need to find god
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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