OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Randomize
