You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
