Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I understand Curling. That high.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
