rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
