You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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