I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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