Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
