I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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