At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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