my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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