You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
high people should be assigned attendants
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
