I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize