well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
