I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
