11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
