We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had to coat check the pizza.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
