remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize