You smell like stripper and shame
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
