He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
