I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
