Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize