Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
