I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
