.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
