R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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