And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
