So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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