Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
