i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
