She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
