4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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