Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
