Duck Duck Cougar?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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