I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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