She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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