I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
