She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
