She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
