Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
