he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
