Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
