Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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