I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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