I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
