I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
