I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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