Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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