It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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