How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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