plz talk dirty to me
another moral hangover. fuck.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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