The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
