He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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