All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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