distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
