I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
