I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
