I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
