If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So many bounce houses so little time
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize