Got a toothbrush?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm both gender and math confused
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize