My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
