I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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