can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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